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Understanding your grief
You're not doing it 'wrong'.
The reality is that grief is deeply personal. It rarely follows neat stages or a predictable timeline. It can affect our emotions, our thoughts, our bodies and relationships. You may be full of questions, struggling with decisions, withdrawing, or reacting in ways that just don't feel like you. You may even find yourself questioning your beliefs, your sense of fairness, purpose, or wondering how life has changed you so profoundly.
But it's not only sadness. You may also feel anger, guilt, relief, resentment, loneliness, fear, jealousy or even moments of joy that leave you wondering if you're somehow betraying the person or life you've lost. You may find yourself replaying conversations, wanting to change the past, or have a feeling of 'unfinished business' that refuses to settle. You may feel confused or ashamed that these thoughts have crossed your mind at all.
Grief can also affect sleep, appetite, energy levels, memory and concentration. You may feel on edge, numb, restless or fatigued. These reactions are far more common than many people realise.
When grief feels like it's taking over
You may feel overwhelmed one day and completely numb the next. Perhaps you're exhausted but can't sleep, or find yourself crying without warning. You may feel anxious, irritable, guilty, relieved, resentful, disconnected from the people around you, or unable to concentrate on even simple tasks.
Maybe everyone seems to have returned to normal, whilst you feel as though your world has stopped the day everything changed. You might wonder if you'll ever feel like yourself again.
Grief has a way of changing almost every part of our lives.
Any while grief is often associated with the death of someone we love, it can also emerge after the end of a relationship, the loss of independence, or any life event that shatters the future you thought you were going to have. Whatever has brought you here, your grief is worthy of care and attention.
When someone you love is grieving
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You don't have to be grieving to feel the impact.
Perhaps your partner has become withdrawn, a parent no longer seems like themselves, or a friend is struggling to cope. You may want to help but feel unsure what to say or do. You may be afraid to say the wrong thing, feel helpless, or feel exhausted from trying to hold everything together.
Misunderstandings, conflict, distance or feelings of isolation often show up at times of grief and reconnection feels difficult. Counselling can also help partners, family members and friends better understand the grieving process and develop confidence in supporting someone they care about.
Living alongside loss
Loss can change us, but it doesn't have to define us.
I don't believe the goal of grief counselling is to erase your grief or encourage you to 'move on'. Grief is a reflection of love, attachment and the significance of what has been lost. Instead, our work is about helping you develop a different relationship with your grief, one where it no longer feels as though it controls every part of your life. While it may always remain, it is possible to build a meaningful life around it.
Together, we'll work to help you understand your grief, navigate the challenges it's created, strengthen your relationships, and find a way to live alongside your loss.
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